Perhaps you started your company so that you could be there when your kids came home from school. Because you’d missed one too many sports days. Kids + Commuting. In which case, me-time was probably not a concern.
You may not have even read the 4 Hour Work Week. Lucky you.
Or, you began your business with dreams of international travel, lunchtime swims and daytime haircuts.
Here’s what they didn’t tell you…
1. Daytime haircuts are just as great as your always imagined
But it turns out you can’t do your accounting whilst you’re having it done you’ll forever have bits of hair in your keyboard as testament to that fact.
2. You’ll rejoice the fact that you’re no longer behind a desk (and then you’ll buy or rent a desk)
P.S. There will be one day in between where you stand at your kitchen counter, having read an article about the benefits of a Standing Desk
3. ‘Design business cards’ will be misplaced on your To Do list above ‘make some money’
Then because there doesn’t seem to be any money in your account, you will order your business cards from China. When they arrive it will become immediately apparent that they are more suitable as communion wafers (if anyone would like any Death to Flowers communion wafers with the author’s details on, please leave a response in the comments).
4. You’ll continue to join your old workmates for Friday lunchtimes (or try to replicate them)
Friday lunchtimes are a finishing line for those PAYE folks. They’ve made it, they’re off to the pub, and they’ll spend Friday afternoon having to type emails really slowly due to every key being put slightly to the right of where it was before lunch. Mate, you can go to the pub for lunch whenever you want! And yet. There’s something you’ll miss about having that sense of being let off the leash. Could it be you’re missing the leash? Yes, there will be moments where you miss the leash.
5. You’ll work all of the hours god sends, then none of the hours god sends, then a reasonable number of hours that god sends
Spoiler: it will be a version of 9-5, because even though you could work any hours whatsoever, these are the hours that the rest of the world works.
6. You’ll realise they let anyone do this
There will be moments when you feel like you have the smarts to conquer the world. Watch out world. You are going to kick the world in the nuts and then laugh manically in its face. And then there’s the creeping realisation that there’s no entrance exam to being your own boss – a monkey could make the decision to do it. You will then panic for the next four days that you are a monkey (you are not).
7. Six year old children will eat later than you
Midday lunch? You’re a newbie. 12 months after handing in your notice you will routinely be eating lunch at 11.30 and wondering if 5.30pm is an acceptable dinnertime. Every two years, these meals will become 30 minutes earlier until you are eating a ham and mustard sandwich whilst watching BBC Breakfast.
8. You’ll wonder how you ever managed to go to the Post Office whilst employed
How did you ever manage to return clothes bought online before the ability to do it at 11am on a Wednesday? Oh hang on, you had a post room so the postage was free and there was no queue. Damn.
9. Your stationery habit will become a real problem
You can now legitimately order from the Viking Direct catalogue. It starts with 100 brown window envelopes, next it’s a label maker, and before you know it, you’re commissioning those gold address stickers your great-aunt used to use.
10. You’ll go through a week of infrequent showers.
Don’t worry, this week is necessary in order for you to realise that you need to impose some kind of routine on yourself and your toothbrush.
11. You’ll become fair daytime activity game for your family and your maternity leave friends
This may be your own fault for sending emails with subject lines like “Let’s meet up, I can do whenever!!!”
12. The Pomodoro Chrome Extention
Because you no longer have things like ‘catch up meetings’ to orientate you to what time of day it is.
Did you know it’s possible to be terrified to the point of wanting to vomit yet insanely happy that you’ve got the opportunity to screw everything up? Welcome to the rollercoaster, pal.
14. Your internal monologue will be ‘is this tax-deductible’
This will happen way before you understand how to fill in a tax return.
15. You will thank the freakin’ lord that it is 2015
Accounting software exists so that your accountant can keep a constant eye on you. There are one million people who have made a YouTube tutorial about any problem you are experiencing with WordPress. There are Facebook groups dedicated to people just like you to discuss everything from daytime drinking to the best e-commerce plugin.
16. You will want to kill people that say “I think you’re so brave”
Because this will echo round your head as “WTF are you doing, are you MAD?”
17. You’ll know it was the best decision you ever made
Even if sometimes you’re not sure how it’s going to play out, you’ll always know it was the best decision you ever made.
Let’s create a Mega List, so no one enters this world uninformed ever again! What do you wish you’d be told before starting your business?